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Suffering
Question from Erin on 3/4/2014:

Hello. I am hoping someone can help me find comfort. I have a mental disorder and my emotions are very intenseand difficult to manage. I worry so much about the suffering of animals and people and it breaks me down to the point where I become a useless ball of emotions and tears. Sometimes I get angry at God and Christ for allowing the freewill that causes suffering. I want to help but am so weak in the presence of suffering, that I find it impossible to be proactive. Even the thought,and knowledge that suffering is happening at this moment somewhere in the world cripples me. Most of the time I feel like Ivan from The Brothers Karamazov when he tells his brother that no amount of free will is worth the sorrow of a child abandoned and abused by her own mother and father. My sensitivity is beyond usefuleness. I know some people are able to take their feelings and hurts to Christ but I am not sure how to do that. How do I give it over to Him so that I can function in the world and contribute something positive for Him? The anxiety is so strong, sometimes I just want to die so that I don'thave to feel it anymore. I have seen, and still do see,doctors and take medication but it seems to me that what I am experiencing is much deeper than my mind, it goes straight to my soul and is a spiritual suffering even though it manifests itself in physical sorrow. At times my heart literally feels like it is breaking. I know we are all called to His will, to be His hands and feet in the world but I don't know how to manage my feelings in order to do His work. Please, can you help me learn how to trust Christ so my feelings don't overpower me and I can do good in the world? Sincerely, Erin

Answer by Richard Geraghty on 3/16/2014:

Dear Erin,

I know a good solid holy priest whose medicines went crazy on him and threw his whole system of out order. He suffered the agony of the damned because he was incapable of dealing with his feelings although he, like you, would never have dreamed to speaking like Ivan. Get your medicines in order as best you can. After that hold onto to the image that Christ knows all about your suffering and takes pity on you. Have a rosary, medal or holy water around. Does anyone out there know what Erin is taking about?

Dr. Geraghty

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