I have a sister-in-law who just doesn't know when to shut up! She is constantly criticizing the in-law side of the family (she is married to my husband's brother) and I just can't take it anymore. I have tried to change the subject, defend family members, and point-blank tell her I don't want to talk about these things. She gets irritated when the families want to get together because there are just "too many people," but she still comes anyway. There are many more things, but I just can't continue this way. I've told my husband, but he doesn't want to create waves, so he keeps his mouth shut and tells me I should do the same. Short of telling her to just leave me alone, I don't know how to handle this in a Christian way. I know I would start WWIII if I did tell her to leave me alone. I've tried to ignore her phone calls but, since neither of us works outside the home, even that's difficult to do. Help!

Sabrina--

Perhaps you might try "confessing" to her that one of your faults is that you think of yourself as a terrible gossip and that she shouldn't tell you anything that she wouldn't want repeated to others. (If you use the exact words think of yourself then this really isn't a lie, as you are free to "think of yourself" as having any number of faults, whether or not it is strictly, literally accurate that you do.) Then, every time she starts gossiping, cheerfully remind her, "Oh dear, don't you remember I'm not the person to whom you should be confiding? I find myself letting slip all sorts of embarrassing stories to the wrong people. Let's talk about something else."

Recommended reading:

God Help Me! These People Are Driving Me Nuts by Gregory K. Popcak
When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People by Leonard Felder

Michelle Arnold
Catholic Answers

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